Hello!
I’m writing to you fresh off yet another home move – this time from Bronxville to Dobbs Ferry, NY. I actually sat down and counted, and as of last week, I am at a total of 20 moves as an adult. (Meanwhile, I have friends who have been in the same house for 30 years. So yeah, 20 is a lot!).
It’s ironic for someone whose entire life mission is to redefine and elevate the meaning of our homes and spaces, right? Let’s just say I’ve gotten to do a lot of hands-on research.
Because I’m currently living in the midst of all the post move chaos, it only felt right to dedicate this month’s letter to the psychology of moving.
We all know it’s exhausting, but there is actually a profound reason why moving is so damn hard.
So this month, I’m diving deep into:
- How to survive the inevitable post-move anxiety.
- Why leaving an old environment is actually a massive catalyst for growth (and how it sheds your old identity).
- The single best moving tip I’ve ever received (courtesy of my mom!).
I hope this is helpful. And if you’ve moved recently, hit reply and tell me your best survival tips, I’d love to hear them.
Sending lots of 💛,
HOW TO SURVIVE THE POST-MOVE EMOTIONAL SPIRAL
You don’t realize the importance of home and the part it plays in supporting your daily routines and helping you feel grounded until you move. For many people, that disruption shows up as post-move anxiety which is that strange feeling of being overwhelmed in a place you chose and were excited about. All you have to do is experience the first morning in a new kitchen, having to open multiple cupboards just to find a coffee mug and fumbling about to make breakfast to get a first taste of this and how destabilizing it feels.
Routines can make life boring, but for the simple things in life you do every day that you don’t want to spend time thinking about (like making breakfast) they’re true-life savers. And anytime you move and disrupt those simple routines, EVERYTHING begins to feel overwhelming and the internal voice in your head begins:
“I don’t like this place as much as the old place.”
“Moving was a horrible idea.”
“I think I chose the wrong place. Will I ever be happy again?”
Until, you’ve officially spiraled.
So my advice… prepare yourself for this moment, because… it’s inevitable. It will take your brain and body a second to remember where the coffee mugs are (and everything else for that matter). And it doesn’t mean you made a bad choice in home or anything else. It’s a part of moving. And when we learn to give ourselves grace and to expect feeling weird and out of sorts in our new home, then when it happens, instead of spiraling we can embrace it. We can gently remind ourselves that it’s a moment in time. That in just a matter of weeks, we’ll know where everything is and it will feel like home.
We can also remind ourselves, that this momentary panic and feeling out of sorts is actually… good for us. Let me explain…
HOW MOVING HELPS WITH NEUROPLASTICITY AND UP LEVELLING
Let me introduce you to neuroscientist Emily McDonald (you might know her as @emonthebrain). She talks a lot about how completely changing your physical location is actually one of the fastest ways to “uplevel” your entire life.
Why? Because it literally strips your brain away from the environments that are holding onto your old identity.
Think about it, without those familiar, daily associations anchoring you to your past self, your brain is forced to step up and actively construct a brand-new sense of Self. It’s like a total hard reset for your mind. That “weird, out-of-sorts”, post-move anxiety feeling you’re experiencing in the kitchen? That is just the sound of your brain rewiring itself.
Here is the breakdown of what is happening in your mind when you pack up and move:
- Breaking the “Old Identity” Anchor: Your old home was a giant web of subconscious cues. It knew your old habits, your old routines, and maybe even some old, limiting patterns you’ve been trying to shake. By completely relocating, you eliminate those environmental triggers and give yourself a blank canvas to build who you want to be next.
- A Massive Boost in Neuroplasticity: Because you are in a brand-new space with zero prior associations, your brain can’t run on autopilot anymore. It is forced to adapt, wake up, and forge entirely new neural pathways, which naturally accelerates your personal growth.
- Leveraging the “Doorway Effect”: Have you ever walked into a room to get something, only to completely forget why you walked in there? That’s the “doorway effect”—your brain shifts modes of thinking when you pass through a physical boundary. Now imagine that on a macro level. Transitioning to a brand-new living space is the ultimate way to shatter mental ruts and supercharge your focus.
No pain, no gain right? Oy.
THE BEST MOVING TIP YOU’LL EVER HEAR (THANKS MOM!)
The first night in a new home is always the hardest. First off, your mind is going a million miles an hour thinking about the endless to-do list. Secondly, unless you’ve hired a full team of professional movers and an interior designer, you’re going to be living amongst a sea of cardboard boxes, missing furniture, and a general mess.
All of this combined makes it really hard to disconnect. It stops you from getting that deep rest you need to reset your nervous system, recharge your body, and feel fired up for the next day.
On this recent move, I was lucky enough to have my mom helping me. With her 70+ years of life experience, she hit me with an absolute game-changer:
“Gala, this might sound crazy, but I highly suggest that you get a hotel room for the first night. That way, we can leave the mess behind, take a hot shower, and fall into a comfortable bed to get a good night’s sleep.”
I didn’t hesitate for a second. I booked a room at a nearby Marriott using points and let me tell you, it was the best decision ever.
We ate Mexican food (my absolute fave!), headed to the hotel, and I had the best shower and sleep of my life. The next morning, we both woke up clear, energized, and ready to tackle more boxes without an ounce of post-move anxiety.
Added bonus, because we were out of the house, we grabbed our morning coffees at a cute local café. Which meant… absolutely zero fumbling for coffee mugs. 😊
Protecting Your Peace From Day One
Looking back, taking that one night away wasn’t just about getting a good night’s sleep, it was about protecting my nervous system during a time that is notoriously chaotic.
When you give your body a second to breathe and let your stress levels drop, you actually get your mind back. It gives you the clarity you need to start fresh. You don’t have to wait until your house is perfectly unpacked, painted, and styled to find your sanctuary. Sometimes, creating a healthy environment just means giving yourself permission to walk away from the cardboard boxes and choose rest.
Whether you are currently living out of suitcases or just trying to find a better flow in your current home, remember to look after your energy first. The physical stuff will catch up.
And if you’re currently transitioning into a new home and want some hands-on help setting up routines and a layout that actually support your brain and body, reach out, I’d love to help you design it 💛.
