Hello!
I recently interviewed HGTV star Carmeon Hamilton for the upcoming season of my podcast Going Beyond Spaces with Gala. We talked about something close to both of our hearts: designing your home after loss—whether that’s the loss of a loved one, the end of a relationship, a career change, or simply finding yourself alone in a quiet house after the kids leave for college.
This conversation was deeply personal for me. After separating from my wife of 10 years, I intentionally designed my new home to help me navigate this chapter. I didn’t want a space that reminded me of what had been—I needed something that could support who I was becoming.
If you’ve experienced any kind of shift and want to explore how designing after loss can help you move forward with more clarity and ease, keep reading.
And as always, if you have questions, want to share your story, or need support with your space, I’m here—just comment below. And if this message might resonate with someone in your life, feel free to pass it on.
Sending you lots of 💛,
1. Declutter: Make Space for the Next Version of You
I knowwwww—we talk about decluttering all the time. But decluttering is one of the most impactful (and accessible) ways to shift the energy in your home—especially after a loss.
Clutter isn’t just visual—it’s emotional. It often holds memories, expectations, or versions of ourselves we’ve already outgrown. And when we let go of what we no longer need, we create space—physically and energetically—for something new to come into our lives.
During my separation, I went from a four-bedroom home to a one-bedroom apartment. That meant letting go of a lot. Donating those pieces and imagining someone else enjoying them felt like a quiet act of closure. What remained were the objects that still felt aligned, that still brought me joy, and that reflected who I was becoming. And living with less stuff, also brought an immediate sense of lightness that was also healing in of itself.
If you’re starting the process of designing your home after loss, this is the perfect first step.
2. Add Design Elements That Counteract Sadness
Design has the power to shift our energy and support and reflect our emotions. When I was married, our space was neutral and calming—lots of whites, soft textures, and natural materials. It helped ground our busy lives and created a restful environment for our family.
But after my divorce, everything shifted—including my energy. My new apartment is colorful, expressive, and filled with objects that feel playful and alive. It’s not about erasing the past—it’s about designing a space that reflects this version of me.
If you’re going through a loss, you don’t need to do a full makeover. Even small, intentional changes can shift the emotional tone of your space.
Some ideas:
- Bring in color—through paint, art, textiles, or decor.
- Choose meaningful artwork or objects that make you feel something.
- Treat yourself to one or two new items that reflect the chapter you’re stepping into.
Designing after loss isn’t about being trendy—it’s about creating a space that feels like it gets you and therefore, can hold and nourish you.
3. Ask Yourself: Is It Time to Move?
Sometimes, no matter how much you update your current home, it still feels stuck. That’s when the question emerges: Is this still the right space for me?
After a major loss or life transition, our environment may no longer reflect who we are—or what we need. While redesigning can go a long way, there are seasons when the most supportive move is… well, an actual move.
A new home can represent renewal, freedom, or possibility. It’s not about erasing your past— designing after loss is about creating the right conditions for your present and future.
If you’re unsure, ask yourself:
- Does your home feel emotionally heavy or energetically off?
If the space feels like a reminder of what was, rather than a celebration of what’s to come, it may be time to consider a change.
- Do you feel seen and supported in your space?
Your home should reflect who you are and meet your needs. If it doesn’t, it could be a sign that you’ve outgrown it.
- Have your routines or needs changed in ways your space can’t accommodate?
Empty rooms, unused spaces, or a layout that no longer flows with your day-to-day can all be subtle nudges toward something new as they tend to be energy drains.
- Are you craving a different energy—more light, more nature, more ease?
These longings are often quiet whispers from within, inviting you to expand, simplify, or reconnect.
Moving isn’t always the answer, but it’s worth considering if your space feels like it belongs to a version of you that no longer exists.
Designing After Loss Is an Act of Self-Alignment
Whether you’re editing your belongings, shifting the emotional tone of your space, or considering a fresh start in a new place, designing after loss is about more than aesthetics. It’s about creating an environment that feels like a soft landing place—somewhere that supports you emotionally, mentally, and creatively as you move forward.
You don’t have to rush it. You just have to start.
